Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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