Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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