I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
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