it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
