I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
my shit smells like andre
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
