Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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