My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
