He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
