butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
