I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
