Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
