Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
and she was petting her beer can
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
