OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
