her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
What a dumb baby whore.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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