i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
