he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
