how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
