Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
