uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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