His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i used baking grease as lip gloss
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
