Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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