Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
