Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
