He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
