She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
