I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
