I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
