dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
