We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
