laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
