I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
