I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
