it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
