TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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