oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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