I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i barfeds in our rink
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
