You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
