I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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