And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
