Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
