i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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