Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
