Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
