I got her a Nickelback box set.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
