so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
