sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
