My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
