He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
