I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
