Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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