Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
