Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Randomize
