i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
