i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
